Cats 'n' Dogs

...understatement mate...it's been p*****g down here all day and off an on for about 10 days now...'spose it is the rainy season (i'm in Thailand at the mo). Stuck indoors...but not because of the rain...i love the rain...but i suffer from 'Brollyphobia.' Whenever the heavens release a few drops of water out come the 'brolly brigade,' wielding their 'hoods of doom' and if i am careless enough to be caught outside when this happens i am foced to bob and weave; ducking and diving in mortal fear of losing an eye to one of the many vicious barbs that encompass this would be impaling device that cleverly tries to masquerade as a weather protector. The sadistic b******s who wield these menacing, mediaeval devices of torture seem oblivious to the distress they are causing me and other unfortunates whose only crime is to be of just the right height that alines the barbs with our eye lines. why in this modern age are these lethal weapons still produced? Surely these nasty spikey ends can be capped? Then maybe i could release my brollyphobia.